Friday, October 12, 2001

What I like to do



is to watch people that I know do things and be themselves without them knowing that I'm watching. I suppose observation is interesting when you don't attach a tag to it ie don't try to judge people for why they behave such but just let those behaviours lead to associations and thoughts. I suppose it's splitting hairs - how can you observe without judging? - I think it's in the details.
So today I sat in DF at JEC watching people. Interestingly enough, there were many kids there that I knew. Actually sit there to mark stuff helps when there is coffee and a semblance of a life, to read bad grammar and squint to make out writing. Anyway - there's this corner in DF that I usually sit at. it's a brilliant place because no one looks into that corner. They either walk straight past you or head straight for the counter. Once, there was even some of the kids staring at an advert right next to me and they didn't even see me. But the corner was taken today, So I sat at the opposite corner. And watched many kids. Clowning around, gossipping (chatting they call it). I came to realise there are several categories of kids.
"Intelligent-and-articulate-but-formal"
These are the ones that I have cordial conversations with. When they ask something, it must be about work. I think there's an unspoken barrier for them that they have to have something work related to talk about. These are the ones that you can have quite and interesting and animated conversation with, if there's something "intellectual" to discuss. These are the ones where strange conversational lulls also happen. Which I usually defuse with - "well ok i better get going".
"Guys"
Hate to generalise but it's true. Very few guys make interesting conversation - especially in groups. It's usually "Har har Harh ... you Har hah har" I think these are the most fun conversations in a very mindless way. Just listen to them make sick jokes and insult each other.
"Tell-me-about-your-life"
I find these kids the more introspective, able to articulate their emotions and fears about the future. Actually, none of the categories are exclusive and I think one-on-one, or at least in a small group, most kids are quite like this - willing to talk about themselves and curious about your own experiences. Find these talks the most enriching and will sorely miss these.
"..."
There's then that breed of kid that is really scared of you, no matter what. They've probably not done work like for really long and even if you try casual conversation with them, they can't make it. These avoid you at all costs. But are willing to be boistrous and irritating when in your presence but in a group - really strange.
"entertain me"
Then there are the kids talk to you just for laughs. It's like - tell me what will tickle me - only. I guess there's a time for this, but I find some of them tend to shy away when you want to find out more about them.
Have this thing (in general) about people. I think there's a sort of human that exists merely on the surface. They don't delve deeper into themselves or talk about themselves too much because there's nothing inside. In the sense that they haven't thought about it too much. Eliot has a poem called "The Hollow Men" - I think it's an apt description. Anyway, some people live all their lives at the surface. Scary. And they never bother to go beyond that. I guess that's why they are a little tentative about emotions etc.

BTW - Ms Tan came home with a story worth telling. Apparently, as she was taking a taxi home, the taxi driver became engaged in a most interesting conversation with her. The gist : he actually said she was pretty, didn't look chinese, and (get this) offered to pick her up anytime she called his HP. Also, he divulged details like he was 51 (years old !!)and was on the verge of a divorce. He inquired about her husband (me), asking, "Does he love you? / Does he treat you nicely?" Freaky if you ask me. Anyway, Ms Tan recounted the encounter with me, and laughed most rudely at my expressions of digust and horror. OK - it was quite comical I admit. And she did bring up the fact that Taxi drivers don't really have people to talk to and so always talk to her. I countered that observation with the fact that when I take a Taxi (her objection: "You hardly take a taxi ...") the driver never speaks to me.

In fact, the last two "conversations" I had (on taking a Taxi from school ...) went


Me: Holland Village
TD: (Silence and drives off)
TD: Wah, car lincense plate now SBM already ... very fast!
Me: Yah ...(Silence for the rest of the journey)

I mean, look - by the time we hit the AYE we exhaust all conversational topics whereas Ms Tan always has these lengthy conversations to report about!
Maybe it's my bad Mandarin - then again the TDs speak in English sometimes. Ah well - as Ms Tan said (pretending to console me while still laughing like crazy at my reaction) - "You should feel flattered that some men find your wife attractive ..."
Right. Men aged Fifty-One.