Being in Class - Again

Being in Class - Again

10/4/2001

is wonderful. Instead of just giving out exams and going over answers, was able to sort of teach today - thought the poem was quite cool and and think it worked. Sadly enough, it's going to be doing papers and going through answers from here on - hope it won't be very boring and that the KIDS will bring themselves to the work.

Was actually confronted by a strange moment of tiredness way early in the morning. Was rambling on about some Compre answer in 4B when an immense weariness overtook me. Had to pretend to "let one of you" lead the class and walk outside for awhile. It was strange. I just stood at the water cooler and tried to think. It was as if who cares if you don't replace in your own words - but a couple gulps of water made me refocus.

And it wasn't that the class was being lethargic or anything - they were in fact very conscientious about the work and were giving very good answers - I guess it was just me.

Maybe it's the fear of missing the kids.

So while one of them "took over" I hung around at the back. I like being with the people at the back of 4B. While they're quite reserved, they are also intelligent and interesting to talk to and it's sad that I've only been with them for about one and a half years. There was a moment that I was actually being rude to the person in front by conducting a mini conversation with the people at the back (ooops.)

Was horrified (ok exaggeration)by the class's Science results which I got today. I knew they weren't good but this quite bursts the bubble. Sigh. How does one remain optimistic about a system that forces people to DO SCIENCE when they're obviously cut out for other things. I can't imagine them being able to fashion complex arguments in writing and unable to do well in something like Physics or Chem. I suppose neurons do go missing. But the thought did strike me: the school - ie teachers, the admin, HODs, the old man everyone, expects the Kids to like "get below 10" or even qualify for a "top 5 JC" or even "score 6 points" ... and I wonder - how many of US who are making these expectations are actually qualified to have these expectations? I mean - how many of us actually did so well in our exams that we can demand the kids do well? Or is it that we want to live our dreams vicariously, so that we can be proud of someone else because we couldn't be proud about ourselves?