Pissed - 1/24/2002

The quietest of things and most innocuous pieces of news can stir up angry thoughts. I feel like an accessory - we'll put him on when ... - Anyway - what happened today was HOD EL spoke to me about helping out with the ELDDS. This had to do with the fact that 1. One of the teachers is busy with other commitments 2. The Debates trainer that the school employed is "missing" ie AWOL. So I'm supposed now to "help out" with the preparations and with the teams. Why am I pissed?

First - last year when I was enthu and actually tried to help out with the teams on an ad hoc basis - I was "politely" told to butt out. Second - last year when I was enthu and actually volunteered to be in ELDDS - up to the point where it was almost confirmed, the move didn't work, wasn't allowed: someone changed their mind and didn't bother to tell me why until several months later. Third - last year when I was enthu I actually worked out a debate training system that would hold inter-class debates at sec 2, pick out good speakers and train them over the long holidays. The plan wasn't approved: no one was interested - "we're all too busy".

So I'm pissed cause once again, I'm saddled with this last minute. I'm actually quite ON about this, but less than a month to get involved in debates training is ridiculous. Why didn't Admin inform me earlier in Nov/Dec? What's their problem? The school repeatedly does this - Oh we need to look good in this competition lets send in entries against all odds and not bother to allow for adequate preparation ... - and I get saddled with the stuff everyone else is "too busy" to deal with.

On a more positive note after the anger, I think I'm quite looking forward to mentoring the debaters. It's quite thrilling to be involved in something like that and I hope the kids will put in their best. I'll definitely give all I've got, in spite of my pissedness ...

Which is a phenomenon the Admin can't get. They don't believe I can be an effective teacher/educator/mentor just because I dislike certain personalities/systems that the school has in place. It's myopia is almost facist - you must love your superiors and working environment unquestioningly in order to be a good teacher. Rubbish.