I wonder - 1/16/2002

why the last entry got such overwelming response. Perhaps it is a demonstration of the priorities that we place on society ie that the confession of physical bulk and the lack of well-being therein leads to a kind of response that is easy to express. I suppose it's easy to respond to an entry on Weight Loss cause 1. We're either thankful that we don't have to do it or 2. We are in the midst of that struggle ourselves or 3. We once tried it but didn't stay with it long enough. Ah well - am into the fourth day of the veggie soup diet and things are ok. Spoke with Sham today (during the long chinese speeches ... I felt it would have been SO rude of me to pretend to understand and leave Sham grapsing bored and restless ...) and we were talking about how lifestyle changes are essential to maintain weight loss. Anyway he gave me some tips on Cardio workouts which are think are very sensible (he being a Bio person and all ...)

I don't think I want it written on my tombstone:
Here lies
An oversized
Man
Who couldn't prioritise
When
To eat
and when
to exercise.

I wonder too if there will be response to this Sonnet. I suspect that it's harder to respond to pieces that reflect the landscape of the soul. I find I can't say anything very eloquent or even honest when I read some soul baring piece.

I wrote it (also) during the long chinese speeches this morning - oh how handy the Palm Vx is. It's based on the afternoon before, when I met my friend, Alvin (a fellow teacher and malcontent), to "moan and groan" about our lots in life. It's not that we were being ungrateful etc, we were just mulling.

for Alvin Tan Peng Hong

The armchairs here are comfy and as we sit
We slip into the language of moan and groan
Where daily detail is examined, tailor fit
Into a discourse of angst we're embarassed to own

"I couldn't sleep at night with a mind at ease
If selling out to the system was the way
To achieve successes and laurels such as these:
A cushy position of power (and more pay)

"And what about the elaborate inner life?
They miss it all, no, it doesn't exist,
Like"credit card honour" or "a butter knife"-
Form persists as but redeeming myth*

"To be or not to be, is that the question?
The sole excuse for this introspection?

*- For hardcore Sonneteers - I know that this should be a perfect rhyme with "exist" but I found that putting "persist" at the end of the line made it clumsy. Besides the assonance with "myth" is quite nice. Anyway - the rhyme scheme isn't strict enough to make it a proper Sonnet - so forgive the impurity.