Braking and Accelerating into the Last Century

As faithful readers of this blog happen to know, I passed the driving test about a week ago. I just got my license in the mail and I'm pretty amazed by the fact that I can now legally operate a highly dangerous machine -- a true symbol of the last century -- without 'adult supervision.'

It's not a big deal, I know, especially in a place where kids can start driving a few months after their 14th birthday, and celebrity car crashes and 'children-of-celebrities' driving incidents are constantly in the news. I suppose being "unlicensed" at 33 is akin to being the 40-year-old virgin. But since getting a driver's license pretty much a 'coming-of-age' thing in our post-industrial societies, I guess I can't really claim to be a luddite hold-out (also sometime concerned environmentalist -- "If I drove, I'd contribute to pollution" -- and pseudo sympathizer of the working classes -- "What about all those people who HAVE to take public transport because they can't afford to drive?").

I'm still pretty uncomfortable behind the wheel but at least I'm a functional driver now. If I'd taken lessons and the exam in the motherland, I'd probably still be clanging gears and desperately trying to swerve through 'S' courses. The good thing about learning how to drive in Automobile land is that it's a practical skill that's much needed and test standards take that into account. I'm pretty fortunate that I've gotten to drive a lot while learning how to drive and after I've passed, as I know so many people back home who after getting a license never got the chance to drive cause it just costs so much to own a car. (Eg. Edna only really got a chance to drive several years after getting a license because she had access to my mom's car -- and of course because I don't drive ...)

Anyway, some scenes from my history as a learner driver. I actually took a couple of lessons in Singapore before deciding that driving was not for me:

Taking the Theory Test:
Police guy administering the test: Ok, no writing until I say so. All of you look up at me when I give the instructions. You [not me, I was one of the meekly compliant] -- why you not looking up -- you trying to cheat? Get out. You fail already.

The first practical lesson takes us back to about 1996 (it must have been ...) when I rather belatedly decided to sign up for lessons at the Bukit Batok Driving School. First lesson:
(Before anything happens and I'm sitting in the car)
Me: Hello.
Instuc: You got a brother who works here, right?
Me: No.
Instruc: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, quite sure.
Instruc: You drive before, right?
Me: Nope.
Instuc: Don't bluff, you drive before right?
Me: Err, no.

After another lesson like this, I decided that learning how to drive wasn't something I wanted to do. Of course there was that CRASH that happened when I tried to head my mom's car into the driveway of our house. Somehow, despite all the intensive theory instruction that's required in Singapore, no one told me about idling speed.

Driving lessons here were much more pleasant. I actually took lessons with an ang moh lady (6 in all) as Edna and I decided that for her to teach me how to drive would be a quick way to end the marriage. But Edna was really patient and indulgent in allowing me lots of time in the car while I was still learning. Leading to scenes like the following:

Me: So I'm going to turn left here once traffic clears. (Car inches uncooperatively forward)
ET: 你在做什么？
Me: I'm going to go left after that car. (Car right in the intersection, possibly endangering lives)
ET: 你在做什么!？
Me: I'm waiting for the red to complete the turn.
ET: 你在做什么!!!
Me: Why are you shouting at me in Chinese! (Car accelerates into the turn then stops and starts lurching forward strangely)
ET: 你在做什么!!!!
Me: There's something wrong with the car! It won't go forward! Ah, wrong pedal...

Anyway, I think I'm pretty safe on the roads now. Apart for Edna's insistence that we reverse into parking lots (esp. after I put the car into "Drive" when I should have reversed out of a lot), I think anyone could entrust their lives to me. The good thing about learning to drive is that I'm a pretty good at navigation (a skill that Edna hasn't really cultivated cause I always work out the directions), so if the PhD doesn't work out, at least I can say that I learned a skill in the US and make a living driving people around.