Luck of the Draw

Having never won anything in a lucky draw, raffle or even a table prize in one of those staff dinners, I was most irritated to receive the following this morning and thus have embellished it with my petty comments:

Dear Sir,

VERIFICATION OF OVERSEAS STATUS

1. On your application, an electronic Exit Permit (eEP) no. IAT 6863, valid from 02/08/2007 to 01/08/2010 for the purpose of your overseas study in USA ["for study in the USA" would be clearer as it gets around the passive construction and still sounds bureaucratic], was issued to you.

2. We are conducting a routine random verification exercise [never win lucky draw can get picked for this kind of thing ...] and you have been selected [as one of 2 lucky winners of an all expense paid trip to climb Peng Kang hill ... ] by our system to furnish documentary proof of your current overseas status [again, "proof that you are currently overseas" would be less clumsy].

3. Please let us have an updated documentary proof ["an" is wrong] certifying the purpose of your overseas stay [Re-write as: "Please let us have a document explaining why you are overseas". I should think that "certification" can't refer to a "purpose" but to the legality of my current status, something which the system already has, since it approved my permit] such as a company letter stating the duration of overseas employment [I think they should have more than one form letter for this, since point one already acknowledges that I applied for the permit "for the purpose of my overseas study in the USA"] with the name and designation of the signatory or a properly endorsed school letter stating the level and full duration of your course. You may email or fax the relevant document(s) to us at 63733173, within 1 month from the date of this letter. [of course, this being MINDEF, there isn't a date on the letter] Thank you.

4. Should you require clarification, please contact the Exit Permit Office at 63733136/38/39 or the MINDEF eServices Centre at +65 65676767, if you are calling from overseas [from "a location overseas" would be more correct, though I will concede that in Singaporean English "overseas" has become a proper noun, in the same way that outremer was the shorthand reference to the Crusader Kingdoms in Medieval Europe] , or [a semi-colon would correct the run-on: "overseas; or,"] 1800-3676767 (1800-eNSNSNS), if you are calling in Singapore.

Yours faithfully, [I'm glad you're still faithful ...]

Susan Woo (Mdm)
NS Registration & Enlistment Centre (NSREC)
Tel : 6373 3139
Fax : 6373 3173

Given that Susan Woo (Mdm) probably didn't write the standard letter and NS
clerks did, it really isn't her fault ...